Jane Unedited - The Blog

By JANE GLENN HAAS

At a time when women in their 50s are looking for work, there’s a pressure for both men and women to work longer. Like until they are 70, at least.

OK, I’m doing that. In fact, I’m 71 and write two columns weekly for The Orange County Register and McClatchy News Service plus I serve as executive director of WomanSage, the non-profit for women at midlife I founded almost five years ago.

But I’m fortunate.

Writing is not a physically daunting task. My topic, people 50-plus, is somewhat unique in terms of regular print media.

And WomanSage is a labor of love.

Still, let’s get real.

There are too few people willing to work beyond benefit-determined retirement age. When that Social Security check becomes available at 62, most grab for it.

At the same time, few companies seem willing to hire or retain older workers. The excuse is the same as always — higher medical costs, less familiarity with technology, a skill set mired in the past.

WomanSage hopes to defuse those objections with our “Re-invent Yourself” program launching at our Oct. 25 conference, aptly titled “Own Your Power.” We will network 50-plus workers with job opportunities, ways to burnish skill sets, esteem-building classes, information on launching a business at 50-plus, and other solutions to the challenge of a reasonable retirement income.

At the same time, we are well aware we will run a course loaded with obstacles.

“The issue of older workers is similar, in many ways, to the arguments surrounding discrimination against blacks and women in the ’60s,” says Peter Cappelli, director of the Center for Human Resources at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School.
Quoted in a recent New York Times piece, Cappelli reminds that in the ‘60s, the theory that the “market will take care of it” did not work. It ultimately took anti-discrimination laws and changes in social attitudes to improve job opportunities for women and minorities.

Today, the Times says, most men retire at 63 and women at 62. If they spent two or three more years in the workforce, there would be reduced fiscal strain on social Security and Medicare, tax-collections would be higher and the combination would add $13 trillion to the economy by 2025 — about a year’s total output of goods and services today, the Times says.

Will companies overcome the reluctance to hire older workers? John Shoven, an economist at Stanford University, told the Times a fresh look at the implications of age is warranted. People are healthier and live longer. He calculates someone 65 is effectively seven years younger than someone of the same age in 1965.

Some suggestions to make older workers more palatable: make Medicare the primary health-care coverage for people 65 and older; increase the age for Social Security benefits by two or three years; create a category of “paid up” older workers who make no more payroll deductions for Social Security or Medicare — also freeing employers from those deductions.

This is all heavy stuff that must be wrestled through Congress. Don’t expect quick solutions.

Meanwhile, there are gals who need work.

My solution: Lift this above partisan politics. Let’s work together to develop workplace solutions that will entice employers to keep us on the job. Let’s mentor each other as we walk this path.

Most of us fought for equal rights in the ’60s. The time has come to “suit up” again, ladies.

jghaas@cox.net

WomanSage member Dee Muir shared the following 1943 guide to hiring women.

It takes you back.

It makes you remember what employers thought of your mom.

Now, be honest, isn’t the workplace a much better place for women today?

I’ll be glad to hear your answers.

But first read this:

I’m grateful to Katherine Rosman of the Wall Street Journal for sounding a warning on yet another financial concern for all of us.

As a sidebar to a lengthy article detailing her mom’s affection for and affiliation with eBay, she notes that the digital age is adding a new dimension to the list of delicate topics to broach with sick or aging loved ones.

She didn’t add – or to be considered by healthy but aging loved ones — but you and I are equally at task in this need.

As Rosman notes, in addition to planning for life insurance, living wills and funeral arrangements, estate planners are recommending clients leave instructions on how to unravel their electronic accounts.

That means passwords and security codes.

With more and more of us conducting financial affairs on line, the issue is particularly pressing.

But consider this: Last week, the husband of a good friend from my early motherhood days died in Delaware. His adult children accessed his AOL account and sent an e-mail about his last weeks, his death, his surviving wife, to everyone in his “mailbox” account.

Robert was 80. He and Nancy were one week shy – one week! – of celebrating 60 years of marriage. They had lived in several states. How would any of us know of his passing without an e-mail message from the adult children?

Now, for those of us caring for aging loved ones who don’t share password and account information before they die, most Internet-based companies have instituted guidelines to help, Rosman says.

When a survivor wants to take over a deceased member’s AOL account, the company asked to see a copy of the death certificate and means of proof that the survivor is authorized to administer the estate, she writes.

If a relative of a deceased eBay seller provides similar documentation, the auction company will provide account information but will not grant access to a buyer’s account, she adds.

There’s more: When Facebook is told of a user’s death, the company puts the profile into a “memorial state” allowing friends and family to post and read mourner comments, Rosman says.

To access a Gmail account after a death, Google generally requires survivors to submit a death certificate, proof the relative is legally authorized to act as administrator as well as an email showing the deceased had contact the survivor on any topic before from the Gmail account in question, she says.

As far as financial affairs, survivors sometimes need to obtain a court order to determine what Internet accounts need to be closed.

This is important stuff to think about.

We need to get the information from those we care about and give our information to those who care about us.

As we simplify and vary our ways to communicate, life gets more complicated.

Wondering if any of you have closed email accounts of loved ones who passed away? Ever used Internet web sites that let you keep in touch with siblings and discuss a parent’s care needs?

Have you considered adding your email accounts to your will or trust?

Latest issue in the debate over universal health care:

Americans are living longer than ever but not as long as people in 41 other countries.

The Associated Press reports we’ve been slipping in international rankings of life expectancy as other countries improve health care, nutrition and lifestyle.

Countries that surpass us include Japan, most of Europe, as well as Jordan, Guam and the Cayman Islands.

At the same time, we’ve lost our position as the tallest people on Earth to the Dutch, who average about two inches taller than typical Americans. In fact, American men now rank ninth and women 15th in average height, having fallen short of many other European nations.

Scientists are pondering.

“Something’s wrong here when one of the richest countries in the world, the one that spends the most on health care, is not able to keep up with other countries,” says Dr. Christopher Murray, head of the Institute for Health, Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington.

Researchers said several factors have contributed to our falling behind. A major one they city is that 45 million Americans lack health insurance while Canada and most European countries have university health care.

But it’s not as simple as health care.

n Nearly a third of our adults are obese and two-thirds are overweight. We have the resources to become fat and lazy.

n Black Americans have a shorter life expectancy and higher rate of infant mortality.

So here’s the debate: Do we have the best health care system? There’s more at stake than insurance.

Murray says we need to reduce cancer, heart disease, lung disease, tobacco use, and so on.

And I think maybe we need to reduce stress.

We work 28 percent more hours than the French and 25 percent more than the Germans.

Why? Researchers have lots of answers: higher taxes in Europe reduces incentive; stronger unions push for shorter work weeks.

Fact is we work more, pay people to do things – like housework – we might do ourselves with extra time off. And we have a shorter lifespan.

As someone who, at 70, is pondering potential end-of-life issues and also still working, I’m too mired in my lifestyle to change now. I will continue to labor at a computer to pay Lucy to do my dreaded housework.

But maybe I should encourage my grandchildren to play more, go for balance instead of focusing on the work ethic? Maybe there is something to universal health care?

Paying more taxes may be a cheap price to pay for a longer life.

What do you think?

By JANE GLENN HAAS

Women view Hillary Clinton more favorably than men do, but she still faces skepticism among some women, especially those who are older and those who are married, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll.

Winning the support of women, who made up 54 percent of voters in the last presidential election, is important to Hillary.

But what’s with this “leadership” thing?

Not to mention this “woman” thing?

Voters say she’s forceful, courageous and strong. They also say she’s a “phony” and “harsh and cold.”

Toughest on Hillary are other women.

Does she have what it takes to face down our enemies, win respect of world leaders, send troops to battle if necessary, keep the country safe from terrorists?

Or, because she’s a woman, should she be spending her time doing good works, like comforting the afflicted, visiting the sick, sheltering the orphaned children.

Honestly, do women have “the right stuff” to do a “man’s job?” Why do they want a “man’s job” anyway?

She was “right” to stay with Bill or she was “wrong.” She’s a “woman’s libber” or a “positive role model.”

Maybe, even, she’s a lesbian?

You think?

A year ago, there were whispers about Hillary being gay. There also were whispers about Condi Rice being gay. And at the same time, Law and Order, the television series, did an episode about a woman CEO who murdered a colleague because he found out she was gay and was going to out her.

The hidden message: Women who crave leadership are exhibiting masculine tendencies so they can’t be “real” women. They must be lesbian.

Great Britain, India, Israel, Germany – to name a few – have had women in top leadership positions but we can’t seem to make the leap.

Check out the “news” section of this web site for some current thinking on women in leadership roles in this country.

Not that our negative attitude toward women in politics is confined simply to presidential candidates.

Saturday, the Wall Street Journal had a cover story about Elizabeth Edwards, who has stage four breast cancer, which only has a 20 percent survival rate.

As she campaigns beside her husband, John, psychologists are watching to check the impact on her children. Instead of being away from home, should she be mothering these youngsters who may soon lose her. What kind of a mother is she, anyway?

Or is she strong and brave, the epitome of what a woman should be: Standing beside her man instead of trying to steal the show?

Who knows the answers to these questions better than you do?

Try to forget your politics – this is not a Democrat or Republican issue.

This is a woman’s issue.

Share your thoughts and we’ll make sure to share them with Hillary and Elizabeth.

I’m sitting again and when I sit I’m okay.

I can’t stand very long. I’ve got some sort of compressed disk thing that is making my back ouchy and my life miserable.

I’m told this is just another symptom of growing old – achy joints and back pain, insomnia, wrinkles, thinning hair, longer nose hairs.

Today, I’m not feeling so great about being older.

I wish I could still walk three miles a day.

I wish I could lose 20 pounds in six weeks.

I wish I could dance away half the night.

I wish I were forty again.

The only good thing about getting older – today – is this pity party I’m having. I can have about six hours of a pity party and then I’m worn out from that experience.

The truth, of course, is that growing older is a lot better than treading water at the same age over and over again. Sort of like Billy Murray in “Groundhog Day.” No end to the experience. No growth. No mental expansion.

No sense of purpose.

You’ll hear me talk a lot about a sense of purpose in the next few weeks. I’m a great believer in the incentive purpose gives your life.

Anyway, one of my colleagues is challenging you to give me the five things you wish you could recapture from your youth.

Frankly, youth often is over-rated. I remember needing to shave my legs and armpits more often. I remember not being smart enough to realize the price of too many cognacs is one heck of a hangover.

I remember not having the confidence I have today. I know I had less self-esteem.

So much for my pity party.

Older or younger doesn’t matter. It’s what you do with the time you have that matters.

Do you agree?

Welcome to the new WomanSage web site, the third version of WomanSage since we first went online seven years ago.

When we began this dialog with you, we asked you to fill out a survey – How Is My Life Different From My Mother’s?

More than 3,500 of you have responded to those questions over the past seven years.

Now we have another dialog for you.  It’s called “Live Close, Visit Often” and it has to do with our changing attitudes towards marriage and commitment after age 50.

You know, we’re pioneering a new way of growing older.  We’ve been shaped and molded by the Women’s Movement.  Whether we liked it or not, it’s changed the way we look at ourselves and society looks at us.

 We are very different from our mothers.

Many of us have been married more than once.

Some of us chose to never marry.

Others used the birth control pill, developed in our lifetimes, as a way to stay childless by choice.

I’m interested in exploring those questions and also a statistic that says 60 percent of the divorces in America are instituted by women 50 or older.

That’s an awesome piece of data.

What makes us feel so independent?  Why are so many of us willing to commit to a loving relationship but not marriage after 50?

How are our attitudes toward marriage and sex different from our mothers?

And what do our adult children, friends and relatives think about our lifestyles?

Take a few minutes and dialog with me.  There’s a survey at the end of this blog.  I would appreciate you filling it out and giving me your thoughts on this topic.

Thanks!

Survey Link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=600473719994