Jane Unedited - The Blog

By JANE GLENN HAAS

Women view Hillary Clinton more favorably than men do, but she still faces skepticism among some women, especially those who are older and those who are married, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll.

Winning the support of women, who made up 54 percent of voters in the last presidential election, is important to Hillary.

But what’s with this “leadership” thing?

Not to mention this “woman” thing?

Voters say she’s forceful, courageous and strong. They also say she’s a “phony” and “harsh and cold.”

Toughest on Hillary are other women.

Does she have what it takes to face down our enemies, win respect of world leaders, send troops to battle if necessary, keep the country safe from terrorists?

Or, because she’s a woman, should she be spending her time doing good works, like comforting the afflicted, visiting the sick, sheltering the orphaned children.

Honestly, do women have “the right stuff” to do a “man’s job?” Why do they want a “man’s job” anyway?

She was “right” to stay with Bill or she was “wrong.” She’s a “woman’s libber” or a “positive role model.”

Maybe, even, she’s a lesbian?

You think?

A year ago, there were whispers about Hillary being gay. There also were whispers about Condi Rice being gay. And at the same time, Law and Order, the television series, did an episode about a woman CEO who murdered a colleague because he found out she was gay and was going to out her.

The hidden message: Women who crave leadership are exhibiting masculine tendencies so they can’t be “real” women. They must be lesbian.

Great Britain, India, Israel, Germany – to name a few – have had women in top leadership positions but we can’t seem to make the leap.

Check out the “news” section of this web site for some current thinking on women in leadership roles in this country.

Not that our negative attitude toward women in politics is confined simply to presidential candidates.

Saturday, the Wall Street Journal had a cover story about Elizabeth Edwards, who has stage four breast cancer, which only has a 20 percent survival rate.

As she campaigns beside her husband, John, psychologists are watching to check the impact on her children. Instead of being away from home, should she be mothering these youngsters who may soon lose her. What kind of a mother is she, anyway?

Or is she strong and brave, the epitome of what a woman should be: Standing beside her man instead of trying to steal the show?

Who knows the answers to these questions better than you do?

Try to forget your politics – this is not a Democrat or Republican issue.

This is a woman’s issue.

Share your thoughts and we’ll make sure to share them with Hillary and Elizabeth.

I’m sitting again and when I sit I’m okay.

I can’t stand very long. I’ve got some sort of compressed disk thing that is making my back ouchy and my life miserable.

I’m told this is just another symptom of growing old – achy joints and back pain, insomnia, wrinkles, thinning hair, longer nose hairs.

Today, I’m not feeling so great about being older.

I wish I could still walk three miles a day.

I wish I could lose 20 pounds in six weeks.

I wish I could dance away half the night.

I wish I were forty again.

The only good thing about getting older – today – is this pity party I’m having. I can have about six hours of a pity party and then I’m worn out from that experience.

The truth, of course, is that growing older is a lot better than treading water at the same age over and over again. Sort of like Billy Murray in “Groundhog Day.” No end to the experience. No growth. No mental expansion.

No sense of purpose.

You’ll hear me talk a lot about a sense of purpose in the next few weeks. I’m a great believer in the incentive purpose gives your life.

Anyway, one of my colleagues is challenging you to give me the five things you wish you could recapture from your youth.

Frankly, youth often is over-rated. I remember needing to shave my legs and armpits more often. I remember not being smart enough to realize the price of too many cognacs is one heck of a hangover.

I remember not having the confidence I have today. I know I had less self-esteem.

So much for my pity party.

Older or younger doesn’t matter. It’s what you do with the time you have that matters.

Do you agree?

Welcome to the new WomanSage web site, the third version of WomanSage since we first went online seven years ago.

When we began this dialog with you, we asked you to fill out a survey – How Is My Life Different From My Mother’s?

More than 3,500 of you have responded to those questions over the past seven years.

Now we have another dialog for you.  It’s called “Live Close, Visit Often” and it has to do with our changing attitudes towards marriage and commitment after age 50.

You know, we’re pioneering a new way of growing older.  We’ve been shaped and molded by the Women’s Movement.  Whether we liked it or not, it’s changed the way we look at ourselves and society looks at us.

 We are very different from our mothers.

Many of us have been married more than once.

Some of us chose to never marry.

Others used the birth control pill, developed in our lifetimes, as a way to stay childless by choice.

I’m interested in exploring those questions and also a statistic that says 60 percent of the divorces in America are instituted by women 50 or older.

That’s an awesome piece of data.

What makes us feel so independent?  Why are so many of us willing to commit to a loving relationship but not marriage after 50?

How are our attitudes toward marriage and sex different from our mothers?

And what do our adult children, friends and relatives think about our lifestyles?

Take a few minutes and dialog with me.  There’s a survey at the end of this blog.  I would appreciate you filling it out and giving me your thoughts on this topic.

Thanks!

Survey Link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=600473719994