Jane Unedited - The Blog

I’m grateful to Katherine Rosman of the Wall Street Journal for sounding a warning on yet another financial concern for all of us.

As a sidebar to a lengthy article detailing her mom’s affection for and affiliation with eBay, she notes that the digital age is adding a new dimension to the list of delicate topics to broach with sick or aging loved ones.

She didn’t add – or to be considered by healthy but aging loved ones — but you and I are equally at task in this need.

As Rosman notes, in addition to planning for life insurance, living wills and funeral arrangements, estate planners are recommending clients leave instructions on how to unravel their electronic accounts.

That means passwords and security codes.

With more and more of us conducting financial affairs on line, the issue is particularly pressing.

But consider this: Last week, the husband of a good friend from my early motherhood days died in Delaware. His adult children accessed his AOL account and sent an e-mail about his last weeks, his death, his surviving wife, to everyone in his “mailbox” account.

Robert was 80. He and Nancy were one week shy – one week! – of celebrating 60 years of marriage. They had lived in several states. How would any of us know of his passing without an e-mail message from the adult children?

Now, for those of us caring for aging loved ones who don’t share password and account information before they die, most Internet-based companies have instituted guidelines to help, Rosman says.

When a survivor wants to take over a deceased member’s AOL account, the company asked to see a copy of the death certificate and means of proof that the survivor is authorized to administer the estate, she writes.

If a relative of a deceased eBay seller provides similar documentation, the auction company will provide account information but will not grant access to a buyer’s account, she adds.

There’s more: When Facebook is told of a user’s death, the company puts the profile into a “memorial state” allowing friends and family to post and read mourner comments, Rosman says.

To access a Gmail account after a death, Google generally requires survivors to submit a death certificate, proof the relative is legally authorized to act as administrator as well as an email showing the deceased had contact the survivor on any topic before from the Gmail account in question, she says.

As far as financial affairs, survivors sometimes need to obtain a court order to determine what Internet accounts need to be closed.

This is important stuff to think about.

We need to get the information from those we care about and give our information to those who care about us.

As we simplify and vary our ways to communicate, life gets more complicated.

Wondering if any of you have closed email accounts of loved ones who passed away? Ever used Internet web sites that let you keep in touch with siblings and discuss a parent’s care needs?

Have you considered adding your email accounts to your will or trust?